hooray, a tfln meme that won't hit captcha!

[pantheraliam]

The TFLN meme, but like, chill.

Ask, and ye shall receive. I'm pretty sure we all know what to do here. Go mad, my friends.

Comments

esther moreau / original / ota

[57times]

1. Trust me, you’ve got the wrong number.

2. Would you calm down? It's just a bit of blood, not irradiated goo.

3. If I can't pretend to be Sherlock Holmes by playing the violin at 1am in my dressing gown, what's the point.

4. For both our sakes, I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that photo.

5. You shouldn’t ask questions you don’t want honest answers to.

6. 'You have great lift technique', aka your last words to me before passing out in my arms like a fainting damsel.

7. I tried to warn you.

8. [ wildcard. ]

3

[brokenbirds]

Is that...something Sherlock Holmes does?

holly genovese / original (vampire) / ota

[redelcastello]

1. If this really can't wait, I'm at the park.

2. All I did was threaten to fill a pair of maracas with his teeth - comparatively speaking he woulda gotten off easy.

3. If it’s any consolation, I filmed basically the whole thing

4. It's 2 o'clock in the fucking morning, you'd better literally be on fire.

5. Why walk away from your responsibilities when you can roll away from them on a brand neW PAIR OF LIGHT UP FUCKIN HEELIES YEAH YOU HEARD ME.

6. You wanna try rephrasing that before I come over there and kick your ass?

7. { byo! }

3.

[queenking]

Fan-tastic. I'm sure the police will be happy to hear that when they come to subpoena my entire existence.

Adam Parrish | The Raven Cycle/The Dreamer Trilogy

[feelawake]

1. You assured me you'd make it home safe because pizza rolls were waiting for you.

2. Well. We can add this to the list of "Where the hell did that bruise come from?"

3. Why am I the only one concerned about Chainsaw just...sitting in the oven?

4. [Text him?]

3

[brokenbirds]

You have a chainsaw in your oven?

Kurapika | Hunter x Hunter

[scarletsurvivor]

1. When a twelve year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink.

2. Please know that I fully expect you to break into his house and steal back my bed if we break up.

3. I knocked on a stranger's door. You gave me a fake hotel number?

4. [Text him?]

3 - considering misfire!

[meteorits]

where is hotel again?

aisling o'shea 🪓 original 🪓 ota

[dicheannadh]

( Modern or cellphones handwaved in. )

1. To answer the only question I could decipher from the many nonsense messages you sent my way; no, I could not do your hypothetical autopsy for you. Not in my job description.

2. No, I understand what you’re asking – I just don’t understand why you’re asking me, specifically.

3. I’m looking directly at you; get off the roof.

4. The last thing you texted me was ‘This cowboy has yee’d his last haw’ and I still don’t know what to make of it.

5. I warned you; don't try and blame me.

6. ( Text her! )

3? (She's usually around the early 1900s, can do modern or cell AU)

[femme_de_siecle]

MAKE ME.

I am going to catch that pterodactyl again if it's the last thing I do.

Ren Amamiya | Persona 5 | OTA

[schrodingers_joker]

1. You wanted to speak to the manager of Big Bang Burger as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.

2. Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.

3. In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.

4. [ Misfire? ]

1

[mousquetaires]

I see the problem, now.

Newt Geiszler | Pacific Rim

[groupiedrifter]

[Reposting my thread from the last tlfn I did; if anyone from there wants to continue here, feel free to link and continue!]

1. I made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalyzer.

2. I just realized u compared me to a coconut.

3. Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...

4. Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.

5. i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach.

6. This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

7. im on a boat

8. You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how".

9. Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

10. (WILDCARD ME.)

1.

[redelcastello]

99% sure that ain't how that works.


that being said


did it??

Daniel Jackson | Stargate: SG-1

[sg1_daniel]

1. Umm, no, sorry, not that kind of doctor. I'm the 'ancient mysteries' sort.

2. VALA. I found the little post-it note with the smiley face where the priceless artifact was. Not funny.

3. I'm beginning to remember why I stopped coming to these conferences. Snooty people saying snooty things and still treating me like the Crazy Man. But the alcohol is plentiful and free.

4. Oh, no, I've been done with my job for...two years? Three? It's been a strange ride but I think it's high time I got off. A quiet night at a bar is clearly leading my thoughts somewhere.

feitan portor / hxh

[meteorits]

1. murder?

2. why you barefoot at strip club?

3. we were on balcony tossing jello shots to people passing

4. my night good i make people cry and run home

1

[seirdomly]

Okay but what about tacos? Those are just as good.

Noah Czerny (living edition) | The Raven Cycle | OTA

[decipi]

((ooc: pre-canon living Noah only because a.) ghosts can't use phones(?), and b.) I haven't finished reading anything but book one yet :|b))

1. an unopened bag of flamin' hot cheetohs...probably the best thing I've ever found in my room drunk

2. you told me ur cheerios spelled out a message for u but when u sent me the pic it just said 'ooooooo'??

3. i realized barry is like my jiminy cricket but instead of convincing me not to tell lies, he convinces me not to go home with strangers

4. how do u delicately ask ur friend if his dad was arrested for soliciting prostitution?

5. at the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bed post??

4

[firstheir]

I suggest saying, "Was your dad arrested for soliciting prostitution?"

Dera Zima | Original Character | OTA

[brokenbirds]

((ooc: default to 26 y/o, but can adjust depending on pref - let me know what you want if you have a pref))

1. My grandmother thought she vacuumed up a quarter, so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. No quarter.

2. The guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed I re-dyed my hair and called it pretty, so there's that.

3. Apparently I was eating frozen orange juice with a spoon while drinking vodka out of the bottle. I said I was making screwdrivers. Technically not wrong.

4. Please don't forget about the bread in the toilet, I am absolutely not dealing with that.

5. Just saw truck nuts on an accessible conversion van.

1 ~

[firstheir]

So where did the quarter go...?

Susan Ivanova | Babylon 5 (No.2 from the late George Gobel)

[god_sent_me]

1. The number of non-annoying things in my night consists of you, and this vodka bottle.

2. Do you ever feel like the world's a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes?

3. People keep hitting on me, terribly. I think my glare physically hurt the last one.

4. I am a responsible line officer. That means I need an EXCUSE before I set this bar on fire out of spite.

3

[eights_and_aces]

Did it ever occur to you that just may egg them on?

Garrus Vakarian | Mass Effect | ota

[thearchangel]

1) Was wondering if I fell or maybe got hit by a truck, then I remembered. It's because I did a splits contest at the bar.

2) Why do I have a memory of one of the crew wearing a vorcha mask and socks? And only the vorcha mask and socks, mind you.

3) Watching him and Tali argue over drinks who's going to chop the coffee table in half with their biotics. You see the issue here.

4) there are 5 pictures on my omnitool from last night. 4 are too blurry to make out and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth. Naked.

5) text him?

(( any canonpoint works, excuse the mostly ME2 icons - trying to dust off an old character ))

2

[allpowerfulme]

that was joker. thought itd be fun to challenge me to a drinking contest.

i mean it WAS fun for me and everybody else who watched him get drunk off his ass, but i dont think hell feel the same way when he remembers how the night ended.

Barrington Whelk (17) | The Raven Cycle | OTA

[procidens]

1. He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco. If you ever get him this high again, I will stab you.

2. I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.

3. We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them...Do other guys do this too? Or is it just us?

4. God bless the petty bitch who invented screenshots.

5. I just gave someone my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.

5.

[redelcastello]

Your standards can't be all that high; anyone can use google, dude.

Barrington Whelk | The Raven Cycle | OTA

[cadereagratia]

1. I just witnessed my first non-cocaine induced sunrise in five years. Not for me.

2. There's a man in the car behind me eating corn on the cob while talking on the phone.

3. I'm challenging a 70-year-old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck.

4. I got wasted and forgot to prepare the quiz for Monday, and one of my students actually asked about it. I think I was more irritated than his classmates were. Mind your business and keep your mouth shut, you little shit.

5. I'm getting really sick of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.

1

[kunimeh]

Oh thank god, I thought you were going to recommend it. Don't ever make me wake up that early.

Seir / OC / ota

[seirdomly]

1. Why is there a porcupine in the kitchen?

2. About 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?

3. I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.

4. I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.

5. Misfire/text him!

2

[ornithologia]

no

Richard C. Gansey III | The Raven Cycle | OTA

[kingseeking]

((ooc: I'm right at the beginning of book 2 (like chapter 12 or so), so please try not to spoil beyond that!))

1. Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely due to lack of self-control of all parties involved.

2. I would use the term sh**-faced but I'm too polite for that.

3. A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk. I had not slept.

4. Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals.

5. My older sister Helen - she is a grown woman - just told on me for something I did when I was seven.

1

[kunimeh]

What have you hooligans been up to??

Zenkichi Hasegawa | Persona 5 Strikers

[loupostle]

1. Do you understand how much easier life would be if fanny packs were normal?

2. Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.

3. PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.

4. I am going to ride along with another cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.

5. Text him!

((If you want me to avoid spoilers, just let me know!))

3

[elevatorhell]

dead
though i'm sure this is pretty normal for you to receive texts from dead people, right?

carmel sanchez rodriguez | original

[saltedcarmel]

[ooc: there's an amount of information available here but the basics are that she's a chosen one who politely declined Responsibility and she was raised a werewolf.]

1. my life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'

2. well probably be arrested for having a dragon in our apartment anyway so i say go for it

3. eating doritas dunked in queso con salas salllas salska salsa

4. im giving 12 year olds life advice this is probably illegal somewhere.

5. text her!

3

[firstheir]

What is queso con salas sallas salska salsa?

caim | original character | ota + overflow from last week

[ornithologia]

1. It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you

2. I can’t believe you made a group text to scream at me about Costco.

3. I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.

4. text him!

@seirdomly

[ornithologia]

oh for fuck's sake seir

more than likely teenagers.
most of the bears wouldn't get up just yet.

Turing | 2064: Read Only Memories

[begetblue]

1. I have cats now. Five of them.

2. This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

3. Also, I may or may not be wearing a cape right now. Hint: I am.

4. The pillow fort you built for me is greatly appreciated!

5. How do you politely bring up someone’s criminal record?

6. Text them!

4

[bluecastleace]

No problem, man. It's been a while since I made one. Felt kind of like being a kid again.

Ross | Senyuu

[shiitan]

1. I managed to convince him that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and he fell for it

2. at some point i'm going to say to you 'i have an idea. you in?' just go with it

3. the raccoons are back

4. i'll be there in 5 min. if not read this again

5. i get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here

6. Text him!

Charlotte Lowell | Original [WoD/White Wolf] | OTA

[coffeevixen]

1. I was ready to conquer the fucking world. I would have fought Vin Diesel to the death without hesitation.

2. Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head.

3. You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock.

4. We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or you're getting a child leash.

5. [Misfire/Text her!]

[eights_and_aces]

And this is why you don't have alarm clocks. -_-

grantaire | les mis

[tannic]

1. I found a twelve pack under my bed and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.

2. I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.

3. What's wrong with me. I have a coffee mug of wine in the library and I'm doing homework.

4. It'll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting, contemporary shit. Collage....

5. I just came really close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the Louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go.

6. Text him!

connor murphy | dear evan hansen

[yourattention]

1. just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card so i guess that's what's in my wallet

2. cynthia said "i don't want to fund your drug problem connor" and she gave me a gift card to the book store. now i have a 420 page book on growing weed

3. is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with "and i love your dick"? asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. entirely coincidental

4. did i tell you guys i was bisexual last night? i just had a flashback

5. even davinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. thanks art history

6. text him.