hooray, a tfln meme that won't hit captcha!

[pantheraliam]

The TFLN meme, but like, chill.

Ask, and ye shall receive. I'm pretty sure we all know what to do here. Go mad, my friends.

Comments

4

[saltedcarmel]

are we friends now? is that what this is or did you mean to text someone else again and get me instead backpack nerd

[Can a text feel ominous? Because this one sure does.]

[cadereagratia]

[You cannot be serious. You cannot be serious! Does he play it off like he did it on purpose? You cannot be fucking serious right now!]

Clearly I am at a loss for anything better to do.

[No! Stop! This only makes you sound more pathetic! He hates himself. He hates himself!]

[saltedcarmel]

who are you even trying to text when you get me?? also tell me your name im tired of calling you backpack nerd

[cadereagratia]

Your number is one off from someone I had practicum with while I was in college, and I guess my shitty phone won't update the contact.

You haven't inspired much confidence to offer you my name. Sorry.

[saltedcarmel]

rude i gave you mine backpack nerd this is a terrible start to our friendship

im just gonna call you morgan until you give me a real name

[cadereagratia]

[Morgan > Barrington.]

If you must, I suppose.

[saltedcarmel]

[She just sends a screenshot of Whelk's contact in her phone. It's been helpfully updated to "Morgan Backpacknerd."]

the contract is sealed

[cadereagratia]

Given what I read on your Wikipedia page, I would really prefer you use different terminology.

[saltedcarmel]

you summon a demon ONE time and everyones like "i dont trust you carmel" which is rude af imho

how high can your horse even be morgan you were grading papers in a bar

[cadereagratia]

[You know what? That's so fair.]

Plenty of teachers grade papers at the bar. I suppose you'd be surprised to know how many.

It isn't just myself, I can tell you that much.

[saltedcarmel]

you had them in a backpack like a loser tho

at least get a messenger bag and be marginally less of a loser

[cadereagratia]

[He hates that she's kind of right?]

Are you this rude to every stranger you meet? I'd like to know what I did to warrant this kind of judgment from someone I don't even know.

[saltedcarmel]

listen if youre going to be a sad man who txts me on tuesday nights or whenever that was bc you left your backpack at a bar im allowed a little dragging as a treat

its called "friendship"

[cadereagratia]

Ah. "Friendship". Is that what's going on here? I wasn't aware.

[saltedcarmel]

i told you the contract is sealed morgan you can't get rid of me now

besides im probs so much cooler than your boring friends given that you keep txting me back instead of just ignoring me

[cadereagratia]

[Joke's on you(?), he has no friends.

[His pride will not allow him to admit that she is more entertaining than watching the entirety of Hoarders on Netflix for the fifth time.




[Well, maybe little a admission, as a treat.]

It's something to do that isn't grading papers.

[saltedcarmel]

[That's more like "joke's on Whelk that his first friend since Noah is going to be an 18 year old criminal."]

damn ill have to put that on my resume "more interesting than grading papers"

[cadereagratia]

[He deserves worse.]

You can add "Morgan Backpacknerd" as your reference.

[Dry sarcasm, or resigned acceptance? Possibly both. When did this become my life? - when did that become his new mantra?]

[saltedcarmel]

i know someone legit named bluenn so that wouldnt even be the worst name i could put down as a reference

i mean irl i just put down our pack lepus bc legally they cant refuse that but theoretically the list of names i could put down ranges from normal to jenny bloodgood

[cadereagratia]

[Oh, that's right. She's one of those magical freaks. Somehow he keeps forgetting that. He really should stop talking to this person. Fraternizing with the supernatural has only ever lead to trouble (when it wasn't busy leading to excitement - that was a long time ago).]

Your pack name is "rabbit"? Interesting name for a pack of werewolves.

That's what you said you are, isn't it?

[saltedcarmel]

no my pack's name is lus leyendes???

[In regular, real-world Spanish that would be "las leyendas." Sometimes you speak a werewolf-only variant of Spanish and you just don't ever think to put things back into "human" Spanish.]

wait fuck humans call the lepus an alpha

[cadereagratia]

[It's close enough to "leyendas" that he can figure out what it means (or at least what he assumes it means, unless it legitimately is just a werewolf word with no tie to human language - that would be interesting). "The Legends" seems a little big for one's britches, but he refrains from saying so.]

I won't assert that I know anything about werewolves, but to me "lepus" is "rabbit".

What language does the sort you're talking about come from? Something specific to your [uhhhhh?] species?

[saltedcarmel]

[Carmel's response takes a moment. On the other side of the screen, she's having to be reminded that 90% of humans don't, like. Know fuck or shit about werewolves aside from a truly concerning amount of absolute garbage that mainly comes from (weird, from her perspective) romance novels.

So instead she sends a picture of a hand-drawn triangle on lined notebook paper with the points labelled lepus (alpha), lupus (beta), and volucris (omega). The triangle has been title "the trinity of gods" and all of this has been done in hot pink ink.]

we named the genders after the gods because each gender got a boon from their respective god

anyway lepus got sway over others as a gift from the rabbit in the moon

[cadereagratia]

["The rabbit", "the wolf", and "the bird". He reads the words just as if they were English, and it's confusing, especially since she is referring to these three points as...genders? And all for werewolves, but only one with a God that's actually a wolf.

[Yeah. He is definitely one of those humans that doesn't know fuck or shit about werewolves. But he is surprised to find that he is...interested to learn more. It shouldn't be surprising really. He used to live for learning about this sort of thing - the supernatural, anyway. Why never werewolves?]

What of the other two boons then? For the bird and the wolf?

[saltedcarmel]

[You can just say you didn't want to read Twilight, Whelk. It's fine. Carmel wouldn't want to read Twilight either and she starred in a Twilight parody.]

lupus got the blessing of earth (farmer) and volucris got the blessing of healing (doctor)

modernly we say protect, provide, prosper as in the lepus protects, the lupus provide, and the volucris make sure the pack can prosper

["Prosper" is a, um. Polite way to say "procreate."]