deleons | hooray, a tfln meme that won't hit captcha!

1. Trust me, you’ve got the wrong number. 2. Would you calm down? It's just a bit of blood, not irradiated goo. 3. If I can't pretend to be Sherlock Holmes by playing the violin at 1am in my dressing gown, what's the point. 4. For both our sakes, I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that photo. 5. You shouldn’t ask questions you don’t want honest answers to. 6. 'You have great lift technique', aka your last words to me before passing out in my arms like a fainting damsel. 7. I tried to warn you. 8. [ wildcard. ]

1. If this really can't wait, I'm at the park. 2. All I did was threaten to fill a pair of maracas with his teeth - comparatively speaking he woulda gotten off easy. 3. If it’s any consolation, I filmed basically the whole thing 4. It's 2 o'clock in the fucking morning, you'd better literally be on fire. 5. Why walk away from your responsibilities when you can roll away from them on a brand neW PAIR OF LIGHT UP FUCKIN HEELIES YEAH YOU HEARD ME. 6. You wanna try rephrasing that before I come over there and kick your ass? 7. { byo! }

1. You assured me you'd make it home safe because pizza rolls were waiting for you.

2. Well. We can add this to the list of "Where the hell did that bruise come from?"

3. Why am I the only one concerned about Chainsaw just...sitting in the oven?

4. [Text him?]

1. When a twelve year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink.

2. Please know that I fully expect you to break into his house and steal back my bed if we break up.

3. I knocked on a stranger's door. You gave me a fake hotel number?

4. [Text him?]

( Modern or cellphones handwaved in. )

1. To answer the only question I could decipher from the many nonsense messages you sent my way; no, I could not do your hypothetical autopsy for you. Not in my job description. 2. No, I understand what you’re asking – I just don’t understand why you’re asking me, specifically. 3. I’m looking directly at you; get off the roof. 4. The last thing you texted me was ‘This cowboy has yee’d his last haw’ and I still don’t know what to make of it. 5. I warned you; don't try and blame me. 6. ( Text her! )

1. You wanted to speak to the manager of Big Bang Burger as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.

2. Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.

3. In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.

4. [ Misfire? ]

[Reposting my thread from the last tlfn I did; if anyone from there wants to continue here, feel free to link and continue!]

1. I made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalyzer.

2. I just realized u compared me to a coconut.

3. Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...

4. Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.

5. i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach.

6. This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

7. im on a boat

8. You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how".

9. Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

10. (WILDCARD ME.)

1. Umm, no, sorry, not that kind of doctor. I'm the 'ancient mysteries' sort.

2. VALA. I found the little post-it note with the smiley face where the priceless artifact was. Not funny.

3. I'm beginning to remember why I stopped coming to these conferences. Snooty people saying snooty things and still treating me like the Crazy Man. But the alcohol is plentiful and free.

4. Oh, no, I've been done with my job for...two years? Three? It's been a strange ride but I think it's high time I got off. A quiet night at a bar is clearly leading my thoughts somewhere.

I see the problem, now.

MAKE ME.

I am going to catch that pterodactyl again if it's the last thing I do.

1. murder?

2. why you barefoot at strip club?

3. we were on balcony tossing jello shots to people passing

4. my night good i make people cry and run home

Edited 2021-03-23 22:49 (UTC)

where is hotel again?

Edited 2021-03-23 22:52 (UTC)

((ooc: pre-canon living Noah only because a.) ghosts can't use phones(?), and b.) I haven't finished reading anything but book one yet :|b))

1. an unopened bag of flamin' hot cheetohs...probably the best thing I've ever found in my room drunk

2. you told me ur cheerios spelled out a message for u but when u sent me the pic it just said 'ooooooo'??

3. i realized barry is like my jiminy cricket but instead of convincing me not to tell lies, he convinces me not to go home with strangers

4. how do u delicately ask ur friend if his dad was arrested for soliciting prostitution?

5. at the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bed post??

99% sure that ain't how that works. that being said did it??

A snake is not a turtle, but Gamera is my favourite Kaiju
Though his concept of physics is non-existent

Compliments for juice boxes. A fair trade, I feel

((ooc: default to 26 y/o, but can adjust depending on pref - let me know what you want if you have a pref))

1. My grandmother thought she vacuumed up a quarter, so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. No quarter.

2. The guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed I re-dyed my hair and called it pretty, so there's that.

3. Apparently I was eating frozen orange juice with a spoon while drinking vodka out of the bottle. I said I was making screwdrivers. Technically not wrong.

4. Please don't forget about the bread in the toilet, I am absolutely not dealing with that.

5. Just saw truck nuts on an accessible conversion van.

1. The number of non-annoying things in my night consists of you, and this vodka bottle.

2. Do you ever feel like the world's a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes?

3. People keep hitting on me, terribly. I think my glare physically hurt the last one.

4. I am a responsible line officer. That means I need an EXCUSE before I set this bar on fire out of spite.

1) Was wondering if I fell or maybe got hit by a truck, then I remembered. It's because I did a splits contest at the bar.

2) Why do I have a memory of one of the crew wearing a vorcha mask and socks? And only the vorcha mask and socks, mind you.

3) Watching him and Tali argue over drinks who's going to chop the coffee table in half with their biotics. You see the issue here.

4) there are 5 pictures on my omnitool from last night. 4 are too blurry to make out and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth. Naked.

5) text him?

(( any canonpoint works, excuse the mostly ME2 icons - trying to dust off an old character ))

1. He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco. If you ever get him this high again, I will stab you.

2. I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.

3. We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them...Do other guys do this too? Or is it just us?

4. God bless the petty bitch who invented screenshots.

5. I just gave someone my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.

Absolutely the fairest trade!

I guess getting hit by flying shrapnel isn't the WORST thing in the world.

Maybe second to last.

Did you see how pale Hermann got over the blood, though? Priceless.

[... JUST PRETEND NEWT WASN'T AS WHITE AS A SHEET EITHER.]

And how exactly are you planning on doing that..?

1, is it going fast

and

2) do you have a nautical themed pashmina afghan

The night is young, my bank account is still in the green.

But I do have it on video. Isn't that binding? I feel like it's binding.

Your standards can't be all that high; anyone can use google, dude.

Actually, it's an old Chinese fisherman who can't speak English driving at about 5 mph. Maybe 6. I can't exactly remember how I got here? But I am missing a shoe.

I should've asked more about that baijiu drink they kept giving me.

How did you know about the nautical themed pashmina afghan?

hooray, a tfln meme that won't hit captcha!

esther moreau / original / ota

holly genovese / original (vampire) / ota

Adam Parrish | The Raven Cycle/The Dreamer Trilogy

Kurapika | Hunter x Hunter

aisling o'shea 🪓 original 🪓 ota

Ren Amamiya | Persona 5 | OTA

Newt Geiszler | Pacific Rim

Daniel Jackson | Stargate: SG-1

1

3? (She's usually around the early 1900s, can do modern or cell AU)

feitan portor / hxh

3 - considering misfire!

Noah Czerny (living edition) | The Raven Cycle | OTA

1.

no subject

Dera Zima | Original Character | OTA

Susan Ivanova | Babylon 5 (No.2 from the late George Gobel)

Garrus Vakarian | Mass Effect | ota

Barrington Whelk (17) | The Raven Cycle | OTA

no subject

let's go with cell au!

7

no subject

5.

no subject