hooray, a tfln meme that won't hit captcha!

[pantheraliam]

The TFLN meme, but like, chill.

Ask, and ye shall receive. I'm pretty sure we all know what to do here. Go mad, my friends.

Comments

Barrington Whelk | The Raven Cycle | OTA

[cadereagratia]

1. I just witnessed my first non-cocaine induced sunrise in five years. Not for me.

2. There's a man in the car behind me eating corn on the cob while talking on the phone.

3. I'm challenging a 70-year-old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck.

4. I got wasted and forgot to prepare the quiz for Monday, and one of my students actually asked about it. I think I was more irritated than his classmates were. Mind your business and keep your mouth shut, you little shit.

5. I'm getting really sick of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.

1

[kunimeh]

Oh thank god, I thought you were going to recommend it. Don't ever make me wake up that early.

[cadereagratia]

This is why I invest in black out curtains. Truly, I cannot force myself to see what all the fuss is about. People act like seeing a sunrise is a religious experience.

It's bright, and yellow, and turns the sky blue again. Shall I inform the media?

[Awful lot of talking for someone who just proclaimed they're not on cocaine, but he's grumpy.]

[kunimeh]

You don't need to tell me. Notice that I'm also awake.

[Is this a sign that they really do need to move in together, or a sign that they absolutely shouldn't?]

[cadereagratia]

[Oh, hey. That actually is weird as fuck. Usually Whelk's early morning texts don't receive responses until he's well into third period?]

Consider that noticed.

Are you dying?

[kunimeh]

Still alive, just a bit braindead but it's the type that will pass.
Studying all nighter.

[cadereagratia]

Oh dear. Then I have been too much of a distraction for you.

4

[saltedcarmel]

are we friends now? is that what this is or did you mean to text someone else again and get me instead backpack nerd

[Can a text feel ominous? Because this one sure does.]

[cadereagratia]

[You cannot be serious. You cannot be serious! Does he play it off like he did it on purpose? You cannot be fucking serious right now!]

Clearly I am at a loss for anything better to do.

[No! Stop! This only makes you sound more pathetic! He hates himself. He hates himself!]

[saltedcarmel]

who are you even trying to text when you get me?? also tell me your name im tired of calling you backpack nerd

[cadereagratia]

Your number is one off from someone I had practicum with while I was in college, and I guess my shitty phone won't update the contact.

You haven't inspired much confidence to offer you my name. Sorry.

[saltedcarmel]

rude i gave you mine backpack nerd this is a terrible start to our friendship

im just gonna call you morgan until you give me a real name

[cadereagratia]

[Morgan > Barrington.]

If you must, I suppose.

3.

[halfawake]

you sure you weren't looking at your future self?

[cadereagratia]

Wow, you're so funny. You should go on tour.

[halfawake]

what did this alcoholic lady do to you anyway?

if the story's good, i could use it as material for my tour

[cadereagratia]

She didn't do anything to me. She told me that she could drink me under the table, and that if I proved her wrong, she'd buy my alcohol the rest of the night.

As well as the alcohol for the contest. Really, it's a win-win situation either way.

[Barrington Whelk is consistently two things: very broke, and very desperate to get drunk.]

[halfawake]

you know if she dies, you could be held liable for it, right?

[cadereagratia]

How in the world do you figure that? I'm not forcing the liquor down her throat.

5.

[bladed_dragon]

...is it at least a good looking chicken?

[cadereagratia]

[???]

What does that even mean?

Like to eat?

[bladed_dragon]

im sure eventually that will be a thing, chickens tend not to live that long i dont think.

but no. not what i meant

[cadereagratia]

Being withholding today, are we?

Then what did you mean?

[bladed_dragon]

its 4am in São Paulo and im still trying to be awake enough to brain.
but if you have to look at it all day is it at least a pretty lookin chicken? or a decent lookin neighbor?

[cadereagratia]

I have no idea how to answer that question, but I'm a little insulted that you think I spend my entire day watching this man walk his chicken.