hooray, a tfln meme that won't hit captcha!

[pantheraliam]

The TFLN meme, but like, chill.

Ask, and ye shall receive. I'm pretty sure we all know what to do here. Go mad, my friends.

Comments

Saxsice King | OC

[queenking]

i. location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.

ii. This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to "be on you". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up! :)

iii. On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.

[gotspirit]

noooo come on dude give it back!!!!!!
shit was just getting hilarious
this guy's comedy gold

[queenking]

I shit you not, he might actually have alcohol poisoning at this point. Like he's trying so hard to eat these beer nuts and he keeps dropping them.

Oh now he's crying.

[gotspirit]

oh yeah i've been going hard on the family issues
it's all part of the build up to me telling him i banged his mom

[queenking]

In that case, consider me a text to speech assistant. I gotta see the outcome of that, even if I have to bellow it in his ear.

Also I hope he takes after his dad, cause he is a sad little rat man.

[gotspirit]

oh i never met his dad
this was way back in college

[Wait, so is frat dude texting a 40-something-year-old?? Enjoy the math, sis.]

she used to sell me speed
you can tell him that too

[queenking]

[She tries for a moment to do the math, then decides numbers are hard and it's entirely logical that fratboy is texting a hot MILF.]

I told him and dude is PISSED. He's yelling that his mom is an upstanding woman who sells Tupperware.

I said that's basically middle aged suburban lady speed and--

Yep, throwing beer nuts again.

[gotspirit]

hooooly shit
do not TELL me jess meyers joined an mlm

man, she used to be cool!!!
she was the first girl on our floor to get her nipples pierced
except then she met this guy on spring break and he accidentally swallowed one and they had to go to the ER

[queenking]

Hey, you know what they say about mlm's. It can happen to any of us at any time. Nobody is ever safe.

Wait for real?? What happened, did he get cheap piercing metal-poisoning??

cw animal injury

[gotspirit]

dude they for real are!!!
back in the 80s the avon lady ran over my dog
lost a leg but she was fine
p sure she's still around, the little freak of nature

and honestly i don't even remember
but she got it back in the mail later

[queenking]

Kickass, little dog, you show that avon lady
Can't be taken down with a pink Cadillac!

Hand to god thought you meant she got the dog's leg in the mail
But a swallowed nipple ring is almost better

[gotspirit]

LMAOOOO
yeah it's def better than a dog leg
but it also went all the way through his body first
she wound up taping it in a picture frame

wait shit is the guy still conscious

[queenking]

What, no scrapbook? Definitely would've pegged her for a scrapbooker.

Oh no, he's been out for like 20 minutes. My phone now.

[gotspirit]

ooooh girl don't even get me started on pegging her

[Really, don't, because it's a lie. Tracy wouldn't even give her the time of day.]

and you're doing the right thing
straight dudes don't deserve phones
that thing was a weapon in his hands

[queenking]

Hah! That's a big leap from scrapbooking! ...actually realistically it probably isn't, there's definitely some sort of connection.

Absolutely. Plus he was a terrible tipper and he kept licking his fingers and putting them back in the nut bowl. He can have his phone back after he sobers up at the station.

3

[decipi]

ok but now do they think u are going to turn into one??
bc that is kind of mean

and kind of awesome

[queenking]

He DID and then I tried some story about how I was pioneering a new zombie vaccination program and results were very promising.

I think he's beginning to suspect I'm full of it.

[decipi]

dont vaccines take like a rlly long time?
and zombying i think does not take that long
:|aaa

u might be in trouble

[queenking]

I said it was being worked on by NASA so it was happening SUPER fast.

He was not impressed. Or convinced. And then he said something about how NASA doesn't work on vaccines and I called him a nerd and basically the conversation just went downhill from there.

[decipi]

he does sound kind of like a nerd
but tbf
if nasa worked on vaccines they probably WOULD be super fast

so i think u r in the right

[queenking]

THANK you. I think considering the immense pressure I was under, I handled myself amazingly, A+ effort.

[decipi]

im trying to figure out how to make a clapping emoji o//" does this work?

[queenking]

It's sort of abstract art, but I get the gist of it. Thanks, man.

[decipi]

np man
o//" o//" o//"
"\\o "\\o "\\o

a round of applause

[queenking]

awwww i always wanted to have a large crowd shrieking my praise. :)