hooray, a tfln meme that won't hit captcha!

[pantheraliam]

The TFLN meme, but like, chill.

Ask, and ye shall receive. I'm pretty sure we all know what to do here. Go mad, my friends.

Comments

[queenking]

Hey, you know what they say about mlm's. It can happen to any of us at any time. Nobody is ever safe.

Wait for real?? What happened, did he get cheap piercing metal-poisoning??

cw animal injury

[gotspirit]

dude they for real are!!!
back in the 80s the avon lady ran over my dog
lost a leg but she was fine
p sure she's still around, the little freak of nature

and honestly i don't even remember
but she got it back in the mail later

[queenking]

Kickass, little dog, you show that avon lady
Can't be taken down with a pink Cadillac!

Hand to god thought you meant she got the dog's leg in the mail
But a swallowed nipple ring is almost better

[gotspirit]

LMAOOOO
yeah it's def better than a dog leg
but it also went all the way through his body first
she wound up taping it in a picture frame

wait shit is the guy still conscious

[queenking]

What, no scrapbook? Definitely would've pegged her for a scrapbooker.

Oh no, he's been out for like 20 minutes. My phone now.

[gotspirit]

ooooh girl don't even get me started on pegging her

[Really, don't, because it's a lie. Tracy wouldn't even give her the time of day.]

and you're doing the right thing
straight dudes don't deserve phones
that thing was a weapon in his hands

[queenking]

Hah! That's a big leap from scrapbooking! ...actually realistically it probably isn't, there's definitely some sort of connection.

Absolutely. Plus he was a terrible tipper and he kept licking his fingers and putting them back in the nut bowl. He can have his phone back after he sobers up at the station.

[gotspirit]

omg you called the cops on him???
wtg girl 🤩
he totally deserves it
the whole reason i'm harassing him is he was creeping on my friend

well i say friend
more like acquaintance

okay i didn't know her but she seemed super nice

[queenking]

hey say no more
you had me at "creeping"
good for you.

and hell yeah I did he was throwing nuts
and shot glasses
ain't having that shit today.

[gotspirit]

hold up do you still have his phone
are you a thIEF
!!!

[queenking]

nahhhhh he left it on the bar. along with his wallet. and dignity.

it's not thievery if they're a dick. pretty sure it says that in the bible.

[gotspirit]

oh man beats me
i dropped out of catholic school
well
catholic college

[And she didn't drop out. She got kicked out.]

[queenking]

the fact that you even went for any amount of time, based on our extremely brief conversation, is kind of amazing.

but yeah, this is why lost and founds exist. he can get lost and find himself later.

ba-dum-tss.

[gotspirit]

omg i didn't know you were a comedian

and yeah girl
two whole years almost
they had that sweet sweet financial aid
but we wound up not getting along
yada yada no drugs in the dorms ex cetera

[queenking]

hell yeah, only cause i don't got the face for TV. you'd know if you saw me.

OH well fuck them then no fun allowed in higher education i GUESS.

[gotspirit]

wait i'm calling bs
idk what your face looks like but you sound super hot
i have like a psychic radar for these things

[queenking]

thanks for thinking i sound hot as i text on a phone i stole from a drunk man.

but seriously, i'm all RIGHT but. yakknow. i'm not a hot milf from the 80's

[gotspirit]

you're putting it to better use than he ever did

and technically i'm from the 90s
and don't have any kids
so i'm just an ilf

[queenking]

thanks. i'll use my power wisely.

being a milf is a state of MIND. it's an AESTHETIC. it's even, as the kids say, a "mood".

new journal who dis

[highspirits]

one might even propose
the real milfs were the friends we made along the way??

[this is just getting silly]