TFLN!!! HEAVEN!!! NOW!!!

[pantheraliam]

Ya'll know what to do.

Comments

Lily Hargrove 🌻 oc 🌻 ota

[wormchick]

1. Summer is HORRENDOUS and I long for winter.

2. I just ordered at starbucks and the guy who made my drink drew a lily on my cup instead of writing my name. I think I'm figuratively in love!!

3. That's easy for you to say; you tan in the sun. I get 'severely sautéed'.

4. I think I sent him to sleep talking about sequoias...he hasn't replied in over an hour.😔

5. I think you have the wrong number, distressed yet unfamiliar person.

6. Can it wait until after this episode of 'Planet Earth' please? This week they're looking at Kodiak bears and then it'll be several weeks of sea creatures, and those interest me less than land predators, as a general rule.

7. Do you like pizza, and do you enjoy baked goods?

8. [ Wildcard! Misfires and assumed CR welcome! ]

3

[brokenbirds]

i tan in a dark room tbh

1 - TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE

[livetodie]

TAKE IT BACK NOW

Bella Swan | Twilight Saga | OTA/misfires welcome!

[nullsferatu]

1. Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while I walk to my 8am class.

2. It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants-free evening.

3. A horseman - I repeat, a man on a horse - just told me I was gorgeous and my friends are not. Dick move, but also, what?

4. You came in and threw goldfish on my blue carpet and screamed, "SWIM, BITCHES." And then you made me drink a "best friends potion" with you.

5. 1:32am. I quit. Signing up for Tinder. Don't judge me.

dusts off this journal bc why not?? 2

[probably_damned]

Are all movie nights pants-free or just when Titanic is on?

Ronan Lynch | The Raven Cycle | OTA - avoid Dreamer Trilogy Spoilers

[solidumsomnia]

1. ps if ur frozen peas taste like crotch its cause some dude kicked me in the nuts trying to do a keg stand and i needed an ice pack

2. u stuck ur head out the window to puke and got hit my a mailbox

3. oh yeah
there may or may not be a large boa loose in ur house when u get home

4. i got a blow torch for christmas
ur now permitted to be afraid

5. how do i politely tell someone to get the fuck out of my house in russian?

2.

[badcandy]

thnx for the remindr

fucked up my face man

joseph kavinsky | trc | ota

[badcandy]

1. u kept fucking licking me dude

2. summary of ur night; pissin 'hands free' is a chick exclusive activity and im a lil embarrassed for u

3. i value our friendship somewhat but the next time u jump on my car, im violently introducin u to the world of sounding

4. bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
pick up ur phonnneeee
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch

5. dont push ur luck

6. yo why do i have like 39 missed calls wtf
r u bein trafficked
r u dead
send thumbs up for human traffickin
send skull for dead
send eggplant for 'misc/other'

7. i feel like i got run the fuck over what did u do to me man
like it aint all bad but i got bones hurtin i didnt kno like


existed
lol

8. [ text him! misfires welcome ]

1

[texasmurdermurder]

It's cause on account of I had to wake you up, brat!

7

[kingseeking]

Pardon my French, here -

I didn't do a thing. You fell off the fucking roof.

Barrington Whelk | The Raven Cycle | OTA/misfires welcome (if not encouraged)

[cadereagratia]

1. I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating lasagna out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes.

2. Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real. Who the hell rides a scooter anymore?

3. How long does it take a corndog to cook over a candle?

4. To do list my extremely baked self wrote for me last night says: 1. Join gym. 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym." And then just a drawing of a squid.

5. There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my car listening exclusively to Wu Tang Clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks.

3.

[bladed_dragon]

depends on the dimensions of the corndog and the heat of the flame.

nora bates | original (vampire) | ota

[heystranger]

1. That's where you're wrong. Violence can absolutely be a valid solution.

2. What was I supposed to do to him? Please, enlighten me.

3. That's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.

4. I've got 4 children, three of which are teenagers; your behaviour last night was nothing I haven't seen before, trust me.

5. I took your keys off of you for your own good; you were threatening to drive through the front of the nearest church because, and I quote; 'They know what they did'.

6. You wrote me a very sweet, but very…very drunk love letter.

7. For both our sakes, I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that photo.

8. I'd argue it was a very productive evening, all things considered.

7

[simplecreature]

:'D

Hi Nora!!!
I've decided to take my own life!

Mikael Whitney | Original Character | OTA/misfires Welcome

[simplecreature]

1. Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then. Bitch.

2. Wow. You know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog.

3. Some nights you just end up digging your McDouble out of the trash and eating it. It happens.

4. We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.

5. I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight.

giovanni genovese / original (vampire) / ota

[ilprezzo_delpotere]

i.
I can't tell if you're joking, but for your sake, I hope you are.

ii.
Forget all that; just tell me what you want.

iii.
As admirable as your persistence is, the answer's still no.

iv.
I did warn you, but honestly I believe a good lesson was learned on your part.

v.
You might want to rethink that grand plan of yours.

vi.
Trust me, you’ve got the wrong number.

holly genovese / original (vampire) / ota

[mobprincess]

1. Mmm......................No, gonna pass on that dude.

2. Just learned what chainsaws were invented for and lemme tell ya lads I ain't sleeping for a week now 🤢

3. So basically you need a bail out. Again. That right?

4. Real bold of you to assume I give half a fuck.

5. All I did was threaten to fill a pair of maracas with his teeth - comparatively speaking he woulda gotten off easy.

6. If it’s any consolation, I filmed basically the whole thing.

7. And if I say no?

8. [ Misfires + assumed CR welcome. ]

kunimi akira | hq!!

[kunimeh]

1. did u know there are ass prints on the hood of ur car

2. i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...

3. Apparently I told him he would make a good human sacrifice

4. No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here

5. Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed

6. I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.

3 - how the FUCK am I supposed to resist this?

[cadereagratia]

[:' )]

Seems a bit rude.

Dera Zima | Original Character | OTA

[brokenbirds]

1. maybe its bc u slapped him w/ a pancake last night

2. drunk
tried on one of my chucks dresses
lookin p good tbh

3. i just got a charlie horse while cumming
most confusing feeling ever

4. why did i wake up with a tattoo of ur face on my ass

5. my grandmas life advice before she passed away
one glass of vodka before bed
one cigarette in the morning and one at night
kick more balls

3.

[57times]

[.....]

Dera what...is a charlie horse


And why did I need to know that

Eddie Munson | Stranger Things (ota/misfires welcome)

[satanicpanics]

1. So I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?

2. I literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.

3. You know who really doesn't like surprise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.

4. So remember how I said I sell "energy drinks"? I lied. It's cocaine.

5. My mom told me that after I turned eight I stopped growing mentally and emotionally

breanna casey | leverage: redemption | ota

[themaplesyrupjob]

1. you're barking up the wrong lesbian

2. she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude, in my computer chair. there were several levels of horniness existing all at once

3. i've talked to so many cops in one day and i haven't even committed any crimes!! i hate the suburbs

4. PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THE MOTEL IS UNDER ATTACK also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window

5. i WILL go to space and if we find aliens i WILL fuck one before you

6. [or text her]

Cassian Andor | Rogue One | OTA

[seenitbefore]

a] Well. I have been gravely misled as to the relative weirdness of civilian life, I guess.

b] He gave up on mugging us when Jyn wouldn't stop laughing. She was wiggling her finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.

c] I'm the wrong person to ask about child endangerment, probably.

d] You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.

e] I need a lot more sleep than I've been getting if I'm gonna do the heroic-yet-approachable thing

f] Try me, you 5'5 gremlin.

g] is for guest post

the barnesbot | mcu (unreleased beta version)

[dyatlov]

1. i feel like i was dropped out of a helicopter. through the propeller.

2. i'll be honest i too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face and then have rough sex with him

3. hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it

4. all I'm saying is that being compared to a muppet is not the end of the world.