The 3am Text Confessions Meme

[pantheraliam]

There’s Something I Need You to Know
Please don’t cancel me

Everyone has their secrets. Some are bigger than others, but it may be any number of things that are weighing down on your conscience. One night, whether it induced by lack of sleep, alcohol consumption, or some supernatural force, you decide to come out with it once and for all. It’s time to confess.

Directions:
1. Post a TL with your character name and canon in the subject line. You can either leave your TL blank for others to come confess, or you can put a confession in your top level. Your character’s confession can be anything from “I killed someone” to “I’m in love with my best friend” to “I’ve never eaten chocolate and vanilla swirl ice cream”. Any and all confessions are welcome - in fact, feel free to put a few different ones in your TL if you want people to pick and choose!
2. Respond to other people’s TLs with either your character’s own confession, or with a response to their’s.
3. Be respectful, follow basic dwrp meme rules, etc.!

Open to all fandom characters, OCs, AUs, CRAUs, etc.. Tagging around is highly encouraged!

Comments

[decipi]

[Noah feels something in his throat catch, and his eyes, still just as blue as the day he died, go glassy.

[It's hard to fathom how he feels right now. Barry wants him to stay, and the emotion that sparks in Noah can only be described as grief. If only he could stay forever. If only he could be twenty-four years old with a beating heart. If only Whelk had allowed for that to happen. He wants him to stay now?

[It could have been okay, he thinks again. We could have been okay.

[He puts on a smile that's utterly broken, and runs another hand through Whelk's hair, nodding. Usually he feels like he's about to disappear. Right now he feels like he's about to shatter.]

Okay. [He takes Whelk's hands again then, and shifts on the ground to move, tugging them lightly.] Show me where you sleep.

[sacrificious]

[He's still unsteady on his feet, but Whelk is able to carry just enough of his own weight for the two of them to shuffle into his bedroom, or what passes for one - his home's layout is so open it's practically a studio apartment, but he's managed to arrange some tall bookshelves to create the illusion of separate rooms.

All he bothers to strip off before collapsing onto the bed are his pants, and he's so accustomed to not sleeping that he doesn't even bother climbing under the blankets. Once he's somewhat settled, his head heavy (and still blissfully free of racket) on his pillow, he reaches for Czerny again.]

Don't go. Please, Czerny. This isn't... I'm not always like this.

[Sometimes he's able to function. He drags himself through one day to the next, god only knows how. If Czerny just stays with him, maybe he can pull himself together and learn to do something other than exist.

They could never have been okay. Whelk would never have been able to shake his obsession with waking and controlling the ley line. But now...? Maybe it's possible.

(Leave it to Whelk not to consider that Noah may carry some lingering resentment about being dead.)]

[decipi]

[The resentment is there somewhere, buried so deeply that Noah can't bear to dredge it up. It would be too painful to be angry. He doesn't want to be angry, especially when Whelk himself is so miserable. What good would that do now? The realization that Noah, the dead one, has more of life than the beating heart beside him is...discomfiting.

[Maybe it shouldn't hurt so badly to see him like this. Maybe if Noah were Whelk, he would hate his old friend. But he doesn't. He stretches out on the bed beside him, and takes a pillow to put under his own head, then scoots closer, allows Whelk to reach for him and take him.

[He'll be cold without the blankets, he thinks idly.]

I said I won't. [He tries to smile, and still, it's a pained thing.] I know you're not.

I've seen you. At school. [Just you couldn't see me, he thinks. He doesn't think that anyone at Aglionby does. Even his own roommates who expect him to be there every day, and then never notice when he isn't.]

You're a good teacher.

[sacrificious]

[Whelk almost asks what Czerny was even doing at the school, how long and how often he's been able to take this form, but... he doesn't want to think about school. At least not school as he knows it now. Czerny's so close to him now, so soft and alive under his touch with only the chill of his skin as a reminder that they were parted, and the shadow under one eye as a reminder of how they were parted. Why waste any breath on school?

He brushes his fingers through Czerny's pale hair, then wraps an arm around him and pulls him closer than he ever would've dared while they were both alive. There may have been a heated incident here, an incriminating look or statement there, but Whelk never considered the feelings behind them as anything worth entertaining. Two boys in their position could easily find themselves disinherited if they took such inclinations too seriously.

Now, as a rather pitiful grown man with nothing left to lose except, quite possibly, another chance to hold Czerny like this, Whelk's priorities have made quite the shift. He lies so close to his old friend that their legs knock together and the tips of their noses touch, and offers his own shaky smile.]

[decipi]

[It feels so strange to lie like this. There's something inherently wrong about the entire thing, and it feeling so natural somehow only lends to that wrongness. Whelk might be grown - he definitely looks older - but his face is still the same, with his large eyes, and his strange smile. They'd never gotten this close while the two of them were alive, and once again Noah thinks, why now?

[Why couldn't it have been this way before?

[If you loved me, then how could you kill me?

[It's easier not to think about those things. Whelk feels so warm next to him, and their noses are touching. Noah had spent so long wanting this when he was alive. It's easy - maybe too easy - to pretend that he's alive right now. Maybe they would have grown out of their fear and denial. Maybe they could have gotten married - it's legal now. Maybe they'd both be teachers. Maybe Whelk would have all the money he needed after all.

[Things could have been different, he thinks again. Things could have been okay. But he doesn't say it. He doesn't dare. He doesn't want to scare Barry away again. It's as much effort not to speak his feelings as it is to bite them back from pouring out of his eyes. He lets them fall closed now, and moves until their foreheads are pressed together, letting out an icy breath, bumping his shoed feet against Whelk's bare ones.]